About me
My story started over 3 years ago, when I became aware that my relationship was in trouble. Things weren’t going too well – he seemed to always be angry and I seemed to always be defensive. We were fighting constantly. I was so lost in the FOG, and I wasn’t sure if love was going to be enough to get us through. Then I found Facing the Facts http://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php . The support offered at the time tended to be negative and very pessimistic. It was more like a place to vent and encourage leaving than a place to work on making things better. I didn’t agree with this attitude, so little by little I challenged it. I read countless books to explore the problems in relationships and how to find ways to heal them. I began to inject a more positive and optimistic view based on what I believed – that change was possible.
Luckily I had the chance to attend a dynamic 12 week Family Skills class based on DBT (Dialectical Behavioral Therapy) where “my” role was examined. We explored and learned new tools and skills to stop making things worse and to begin to make them better. This is when things started to really change for the better. I put the new skills to work. My application wasn’t flawless or always on target. I made quite a few mistakes as I practiced and grew stronger. Luckily I was given many opportunities to practice.
My relationship isn’t perfect – but then nothing in life is. As a couple we still have our dark days, where one of us struggles and falls down. The great thing is that when one of us falls it doesn’t get as bad as it used to. We’ve learned to not feed the fire. Less damage is done so afterward we can heal and move on – together.
Over the years I’ve developed numerous workshops on Facing the Facts, offering to share my skills. My positive tone and messages were noticed and I worked my way up to become one of the moderators, with a post count that surpasses over 6,000 now. This has been very fulfilling and rewarding to me, and I know I’ve helped countless people over the years – yet it is difficult to reach people just through the written word. I still see too many who are stuck. Who are having difficulty understanding how the skills work. Who aren’t sure enough of themselves to put these valuable skills into practice.
Becoming a life skills coach is my chance to offer my hard earned wisdom and experience to members in a more comprehensive and personal fashion. Being able to actually speak to someone and hear their stories, while helping them analyze and learn from their mistakes. Now THAT sounded like something that could make a real difference. It would take what I was already doing and transform it into something with great possibilities.
Life is about the journey, not the destination. I would like to help you achieve similar success.
Personal Facts:
I graduated with a BSA in Secondary Education with an emphasis in Psychology in 2004 and worked as a substitute teacher at various high schools for many years. My oldest son has been diagnosed as suffering from ADHD and Borderline Personality Disorder. I’ve been an active member of Facing the Facts since Jan 2007. I have been on the staff since May of 2008 and was promoted to moderator in Jan 2009. I’ve been in a committed relationship for over 5 years now, after finding the strength to leave a 21 year marriage to a gambler.
