Skill list
· Radical Acceptance
This is a great way to start your exploration of what everyone means when they say “work on your radical acceptance”. Based on the mindfulness and nonjudgmental aspects of Buddhist beliefs, this is a skill that really makes a difference in your frustration levels, since it helps you to view the behavior of yourself and others in a new way.
http://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=89910.0
http://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=89910.0
· Validation
One of the most basic human needs is to be accepted. Validation gives this to others. It shows that we are listening to them and that we care about what they are saying. Since it promises to rebuild closeness and trust, many people enjoy learning this skill.
http://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=81610.0
http://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=81610.0
· Time outs
No one should ever tolerate abusive behavior. While our goal is to improve things, we also need to make sure that we are being treated with respect and that we aren’t being abused. Learning how to take time outs does both of these.
http://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=84942.0
No one should ever tolerate abusive behavior. While our goal is to improve things, we also need to make sure that we are being treated with respect and that we aren’t being abused. Learning how to take time outs does both of these.
http://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=84942.0
· Arguments
o How to stop a circular argument
And around and around it goes. The argument that doesn’t seem to have a point to it. The frustration you feel with trying to figure out “What are we even arguing about?”
http://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=118892.0
http://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=118892.0
o Don't pick it up
It takes two to argue. I know at times it seems as though we don't have a choice, but we do. Learning to visualize things can help you recognize patterns much easier. Having the strength to not argue takes practice, but it is possible...
http://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=106107
It takes two to argue. I know at times it seems as though we don't have a choice, but we do. Learning to visualize things can help you recognize patterns much easier. Having the strength to not argue takes practice, but it is possible...
http://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=106107
· Communication Outlines
Just like math, communication can be considered a formula too. Knowing what your goals are and then trying to speak by following an outline can help you be listened to and heard. The use of communication outlines can reduce conflicts and misunderstandings.
http://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=69272.0
http://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=69272.0
· Boundaries
o Boundaries
Like eye lids that protect the eye, boundaries protect us from harm. They aren’t about controlling or hurting the other person at all. Many of us wound up in abusive relationships due to our own weak boundaries. It is possible to change this destructive pattern.
http://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=61684.0
Like eye lids that protect the eye, boundaries protect us from harm. They aren’t about controlling or hurting the other person at all. Many of us wound up in abusive relationships due to our own weak boundaries. It is possible to change this destructive pattern.
http://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=61684.0
o Setting boundaries is a process
Setting boundaries is difficult for a number of reasons. First, we have let them slide. In her book, “The Emotionally Abusive Relationship,” Susan Engel writes, “Most of us begin a relationship thinking we have certain limits as to what we will and will not tolerate from a partner. But as the relationship progresses, we tend to move our boundaries back, tolerating more and more intrusion or going along with things we are really opposed to. . . . [Individuals] begin tolerating unacceptable and even abusive behavior, and then convince themselves that these behaviors are normal, acceptable, [and deserved].
http://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=93309.0
Setting boundaries is difficult for a number of reasons. First, we have let them slide. In her book, “The Emotionally Abusive Relationship,” Susan Engel writes, “Most of us begin a relationship thinking we have certain limits as to what we will and will not tolerate from a partner. But as the relationship progresses, we tend to move our boundaries back, tolerating more and more intrusion or going along with things we are really opposed to. . . . [Individuals] begin tolerating unacceptable and even abusive behavior, and then convince themselves that these behaviors are normal, acceptable, [and deserved].
http://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=93309.0
o Examples of boundaries
Don’t know where to start with boundaries? Then this is a quick resource. It includes examples and member stories of what others have tried (and how they succeeded or why they failed) at establishing boundaries in their lives.
Don’t know where to start with boundaries? Then this is a quick resource. It includes examples and member stories of what others have tried (and how they succeeded or why they failed) at establishing boundaries in their lives.
· Invalidation.
None of us sets out to upset others, yet we often find ourselves making things worse. We inadvertently put our foot in our mouths, telling the other person how they “should” feel, or how “wrong they are to think that way”. Before we can start to make things better, we need to learn how to stop making them worse.
http://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=81442.0
http://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=81442.0
· What does it mean to take care of yourself?
We hear it all the time - "take care of yourself".... sadly, we often don't know what that means. Here's a chance to explore what taking care of yourself means....
http://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=112473.0
We hear it all the time - "take care of yourself".... sadly, we often don't know what that means. Here's a chance to explore what taking care of yourself means....
http://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=112473.0
· Empathetic listening
((In development…))
· Are you an enabler?
Do you fix your loved ones mistakes? Do you cover or lie for them? Do you feel the need to save them from feeling any pain? Do you allow them to get away with treatment you would never accept from a stranger? Do you realize that you are making things worse by not allowing them to feel the consequences of their mistakes?
http://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=95263.0
Do you fix your loved ones mistakes? Do you cover or lie for them? Do you feel the need to save them from feeling any pain? Do you allow them to get away with treatment you would never accept from a stranger? Do you realize that you are making things worse by not allowing them to feel the consequences of their mistakes?
http://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=95263.0
