The silent treatment works for them, since they "feel" justified in ignoring you and they believe it bothers you. When you take that control out of their hands and refuse to allow their behavior to spoil your happiness/plans/holidays/whatever, then you are regaining the ability to control your own emotions. They can see that you are living a happy life, continuing on with your normal activities, no longer chasing after them begging them to talk to you, cajoling them to join you in activities....and THAT is what causes them to rethink their strategy of punishing you. As long as they believe their punishment is working, they will continue to punish you....
Does that clear it up?
http://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=68733.msg1168895#msg1168895
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